Ever feel like weekends are a battleground more than a break? It seems like you can do well with your eating, your spending, your . . . whatever it may be . . . all week, but then the weekend comes and you proceed to drive lickety-split off the rails!
We'll be unpacking the significance of establishing even a loose structure during weekends to sustain victory. Plus, we'll reveal how gratitude can be your greatest ally in navigating these potentially tumultuous days. We'll also provide practical ways to implement a flexible structure that can transform your weekends from terrible to triumphant.
Then we'll turn our attention to the art of crafting restful and purposeful weekends. We'll walk you through how setting an intention can be a potent shield against the all-too-common temptation to 'veg out'. Discover the beauty of having a running task list to fill your weekend productively and the transformative power of a truth list to reshape your perspective on challenging relationships. Not only that, but we'll also demonstrate how an attitude of gratitude can convert a grim weekend into a glorious one. If you've been seeking to redefine your weekend experience--and maybe just eat less!--this conversation is tailor-made for you!
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Hi and welcome to Revelation Within on the Go. I'm Heidi Bilesma-Epperson, one of your hosts and the owner and lead coach of Revelation Within.Speaker 2:
And I'm Christina Motley, your other host, also a Revelation Within coach and Heidi's partner in all things Revelation Within. We are so excited that you're here with us for this episode of our podcast.Speaker 1:
Revelation. Within on the Go. Well, today we are going to talk about weekends and the reason we're going to talk about weekends is because I was talking to Christina right after we were done recording a previous podcast and I said uh, I hate weekend and then it dawned on me. Well, wait a minute. What a great opportunity to renew my mind. What a great opportunity to be intentional. What a great opportunity to take this bull by the horns and live it for the Lord Right, yes, absolutely.Speaker 2:
But I think we have to start with the question of why. Why do we sometimes, or maybe always, or maybe you can relate why do we sometimes hate weekends? Why do we dread weekends at times? Weekends are tricky for a lot of people who struggle with strongholds.Speaker 1:
Yeah, I think one of the reasons why weekends can bring a lot of anxiety to those who struggle with strongholds or other things is because there's a lot less structure and whether your weekend is a Saturday, sunday type weekend or if it's some other way, during the week or something, it doesn't matter. It's that time that your schedule is different and typically not as prescribed as the rest of the week. I think that leaves this open-ended feeling for many of us, and many of us feel like we need more direction than that.Speaker 2:
Many of us also struggle with difficult relationships in our homes, and that can be another reason to dread weekends.Speaker 1:
I know that in the past and this is past way long time ago I used to actually plan for the weekend by going to the store and getting all the foods that I really wanted to have on hand, because I knew that was the only way to upgrade the weekend from something I would dread to something I would look forward to. I had plans for back then. We didn't really have the computer offering shows, it was cable TV, that sort of thing. I would look to see what was coming on my cable network and plan what we were going to watch, and then, wow, we would go crazy with food and movies all weekend long. That was the only way I felt like I could survive the weekends. It's so odd to me. Now. It's interesting. In fact, this has been something I have struggled with for so long at different times.Speaker 2:
Another reason some people might struggle with weekends is if they have young children or teenagers or kids that are in difficult stages and you know that you're going to spend a lot of time with them, as opposed to a school day or a day where they go to a daycare or something like that, and that can be challenging too. Just being honest, just being real, there are a lot of reasons why the weekend can be challenging. Many of us actually enjoy the routines and schedules of the week because, like you said, heidi, it gives us structure. It helps us to know okay, I'm doing this next and now this. I've got the structure to my day, I know what's coming up, I know what's next. Another one that kind of goes right along with that is spontaneity versus planning. We all have different personalities. Some people in the family are all about planning, others want to be spontaneous. It can be difficult on the weekends.Speaker 1:
I like planned spontaneity. Seriously, though, you know, like sometime tomorrow night we're probably going to go to the movies. So it's, you know, it's kind of on your radar type thing, but I also like to nail it down. But you know, there are ways of navigating weekends in a way that doesn't dishonor anybody, like the Lord or my own body. I don't need to consider the weekend as requiring an upgrade with food or beverage or whatever in order to make it through.Speaker 2:
One of the things that helps me so much on the weekend is something we've been talking about for the last month at Revelation Within, and that is practicing gratitude. It helps me so much and I have three kids two are young adults, one is a teenager. Their friends and their schedules and everything they do is all over the place, coming and going and who knows when and what. And if I can practice gratitude about whatever is going on, boy, that makes a big difference for me. I need to be intentional. Another piece, another reason why I love practicing gratitude on the weekend. It's so important for me is because I often don't feel well. It was a busy week. I struggle with chronic Lyme disease. I get to the weekend and I'm often very exhausted and my symptoms can be worse on the weekend not always, but if I am in a place of looking up, looking to the Lord with Thanksgiving rather than to myself, to my own situation, if I'm practicing gratitude, that changes my weekend in a huge, huge way. I can be intentional about gratitude on the weekends by writing in a gratitude journal, even just a few things each day, or by sharing my gratitude with a friend, with someone else, and telling them why I'm grateful sending a text. I can be so intentional and it really changes whatever is going on, no matter how many unknowns there are for my weekend.Speaker 1:
Right. I think one of the things that has really helped me a lot and I'm taking it to the heart as I'm facing another weekend is planning a kind of a loosely held structure, not like a rigid one maybe, like I have during the week, with this appointment at 11 and this activity at 12 and this at 1.30 and so on, but more of like when I get up in the morning on Saturday, for instance, sometime before nine o'clock, I'm going to have some time with the Lord and then sometime before I get hungry for lunch, I'm going to throw that load of laundry in. So it's kind of a loosely held structure. Oh, I need to go to the grocery store. So sometime after I'm done with lunch I think I'll head to the grocery store, maybe run a couple of errands. You know, that's sort of. It sounds kind of weird that that would be helpful, but for those of us that thrive with structure, to have a completely you know no structure at all on the weekends, that can be deadly. I really can.Speaker 2:
I like to fabricate structure a little bit in my weekend and then I know that you know I'm going somewhere. I'm not just floundering around waiting for whatever happens to come.Speaker 2:
And there's another reason that people often hate weekends and that is because they're going to be alone with those, or single people or, you know, students or who knows what the situation might be. Being alone, facing a whole weekend alone, can be very, very hard on a person. I have a couple of people in mind right now that dread weekends for that very reason. What you just described, heidi, that loosely written out schedule, that is such a great way to tackle that. But then also sprinkling in interaction with people is so important For example, attending church, maybe plan a lunch with somebody, maybe it's a phone call or a text. We have so many ways we can communicate now rather than just being in person. You know we can communicate in lots of different ways. Also, though, planning a special time alone with the Lord can be so wonderful and important. You can go somewhere special to be with the Lord, maybe a beautiful park or a pathway that you like to walk, or a lake or something like that. Even just sitting in your car or at a picnic table if you're not able to walk around a pond or that kind of thing, and then have things ready for mind renewal, for time in scripture maybe your favorite devotion, some praise, music, things like that. Putting that in makes it special and your time with the Lord is not time alone. You are with Him, enjoying Him. He's encouraging you, speaking into your life. So I love those ideas for someone who's facing a weekend alone.Speaker 1:
Yeah, and it can also be really helpful, if you see the weekend coming early on in the week, to keep a running list, maybe on a whiteboard that's magnetized to your fridge or a chalkboard or in your phone, of things that pop into your head that you might want to do when you have a block of time. And then you're scheduling or semi quasi scheduling, your sort of semi structured weekend, loosely held. You can include some of those things you know so like, let's say, you want to follow up with a friend who you haven't talked to for a while, or something you can plan. Okay, I'll give her a call at that time, but you can keep a kind of a running list of things that you want to be sure you follow up on. I think that one of the things that makes a huge difference for me is setting an intention. Best when I do that in writing and when I share it with somebody, so you know, to kind of give me some sense of accountability. Yeah, you know, write down what do I want this weekend to look like when it's in my rear of the mirror. And most of us don't want to come out the other side of the weekend with having been all the way through the weekend watching too many shows and eating too much, drinking too much, whatever. Most of us don't want that. So how can I be intentional and set it as an intention? What will I do with my time instead? What do I do to set up ways that I can guard my heart against that temptation to veg out or zone out, because we know it's not truly rest to veg with shows or computer screens or whatever it might be. We don't emerge from the weekend feeling rested, and so what do I really need as I go into this weekend? Maybe what I need is to have a season of rest. So what are things I find life giving and those might make it into my loosely held, structured schedule for?Speaker 2:
the weekend.Speaker 1:
I mean with it being summer and all right now when we're recording this. If I had the ability to, I know one of the things I would find absolutely incredibly restful would be to be on one of those ginormous air mattresses, on a swimming pool, or even maybe on a lake, even definitely in the ocean. I would like that.Speaker 2:
I love the idea and have been inviting God in and asking him what brings me life on the weekend, what makes me feel refreshed, what helps me to feel rested emotionally, spiritually, physically so that when I start my work week again on Monday, or whenever your work week begins, or whatever that looks like, I will feel rested. The other thing that I love to ask myself and I got this from one of our participants is, lord, what can I do to glorify you this weekend? I mean, isn't that a great way to approach a weekend? What can I do on my own, what can I do in my family or with my neighbors or friends, and what can I do with you, lord, to glorify you? And what a great way to begin your weekend. I love those ideas. So, heidi, we mentioned difficult relationships at the beginning of the podcast and then we didn't really, you know, we kind of left people hanging on that one. But then we talked about the renewing of the mind and how important that is, and so many of us have somebody in the home that's difficult right now. It's just real life, whether it's a spouse or a young child or an older child, maybe a teenager or a grandma who's moved in for a little while or whatever. We many of us deal with extended time with that person on the weekend and our schedule and routine is not there, and that brings a lot of anxiety for people. So one of the things we can do is write a truth list and renew our minds about that person, about our relationship with that person, and maybe even the most important piece is what are God's thoughts on that person and you and the relationship? So, for example, a few years ago, one of my daughters was going through a difficult time and weekends were even more difficult because we were around her a lot. She was very irritable, she had a lot going on with school and friends and she could be difficult to deal with if the family wanted to go somewhere or do something or eat a certain meal or whatever it was. She was in a stage where it was difficult with her, and so renewing my mind about her was so important, praying for her and then asking God what is true about this season in her life. What is true? Where is this coming from? What I realized later was that it was certainly immaturity and it was also coming from a lot of anxiety about things that were happening during the week. So when I asked the Lord about it, he showed me that we needed to kind of create a safe environment for her. She was failing, a lot of insecurity and anxious you know, having a lot of anxious thoughts on the weekends, and so the truth list was about that. But it was also about how God saw her and how God valued our relationship and how he was growing us even during this difficult time, and focusing on that with gratitude for all the things that were going well. That really helped me with those weekends. I have a truth list for each one of my kids. I also have one for my husband, and when my mother-in-law was living here, I had one for her, and also for both of my parents who lived across town, and your sister-in-law, my sister-in-law, my brother. I mean, mind renewal can be used for anyone. It can really change your weekend, to renew your mind about what is true according to God's perspective, and we've mentioned this before. I think if you get stuck because you feel like your situation is so bad and negative that you can't think of anything to be grateful for or anything good, start all of your truth statements with God, because he is at work, he is there with you, he is helping you, he is providing, and that's like a praise fest really. Or we have a tool called you Will where we use the attributes of God to praise him and thank him for what he will do, for his faithfulness and sure enough. You know, my daughter and I and our family, we went through that season and it was over after a while and things are so much better now and have been for a long time. But to get through those difficult times we often need to renew our mind and certainly invite God in Definitely.Speaker 1:
I think those are great strategies and seems as though the proof is in the pudding. You really did experience a shift in your own perspective on the weekends as well, as you saw some great shifts in your daughter too. Imagine if you had just been a downer to be with all the time, or if you let the agitation get to you. You know, oh boy, that would have caused some fireworks, I'm sure so. Think on your weekend, listener, and I'm kind of set as some intentions. Do you need to kind of set up a fabricated structure for yourself? It's loosely held, it doesn't have to own you. Certainly Would it be helpful to you to create some truth lists, or a truth list about your weekend, about weekend activities or lack of, about people or lack of. What do you need to do in order to experience life in your weekend rather than what might face you otherwise?Speaker 2:
Yes, and invite God in and ask Him what will refresh you, what will bring you life and what will glorify Him.Speaker 1:
Yeah, I love that. That's great, all right, okay, well, thanks for joining us. Thanks for being here.Speaker 2:
We're so glad that you've been with us and we hope that's something that we shared, encouraged you or gave you some good ideas, and we will see you next time on our next episode of Revelation Within on the Sun, the Sun, the Moon. What's that Good for now? Bye-bye.